It Is Not In the Quantity, But Rather In the Quality!

MARRIAGE MONDAY

Seeing as my relationship with my hubby is one of the most important things in my life, I decided I would post a Marriage Monday blog post & give some advice on my own personal experience.  I promise not to make it boring and it will be advice anyone can use in the future, whether you are married or not. 

I have been married for 2 years now; yes it is not a long time, however my philosophy is that it is not about the quantity, but rather about the quality.  So today’s post will be about taking that huge step of getting married or taking the step of getting more serious with someone.  My #1 recommendation is that pre-marital counseling be the first thing on your mind.  Before getting married, my hubby & I sat down with our Pastor and we had a long session that included taking an assessment.  As a couple we enjoyed doing this because it opened our minds to things we had not thought about before.  For example, you get to discuss merging finances, having children, the ways in which you handle arguments, etc.  Most couples do not invest in thinking about those things and the return is not so great. 

Pre-marital counseling is not therapy by any means, but it is a huge aid in getting to know your relationship.  Usually we know the roles we play in our relationships, but have you looked at the relationship as a whole?  Another recommendation is that you use the counseling to your advantage.  This type of counseling can be done every 3-5 years to assess what has improved, what has fallen through the cracks, and what can be improved.  There is no relationship in the world that is perfect, but a good, healthy relationship requires work from both parties.  Part of that work is to learn not to blame your spouse or partner, but rather look at the mechanism as a whole & assess what can be improved. 

Change is inevitable throughout the years, thus relationships need to grow along with that change.  There are many tools out there to help relationships & many people willing to help.  Be smart about where you seek your counseling.  A good counselor will listen, encourage steps that can be taken to improve certain areas, and will always start with prayer!  Your friends or family members may not always be the best source of counseling because their nature is to defend instead of listening. 

It is to my knowledge that many couples go to pre-marital counseling because it is required of their Church before getting married & that is great; however, use these resources not only once, but throughout your relationship.  I cannot stress enough how much this has helped in my marriage and it was the driving source to propel us to work on things even before we got married.

A wise relationship seeks knowledge, help, and encouragement whenever and however possible.  It is easy not to seek for what we know we are in need of, but I try my best to seek for those things as it helps later on.  I hope this helps at least one relationship out there.  Please leave me comments if you have any questions. 

~It is not in the quantity, but rather in the quality~Xo