I Have to Do What?!

Part of growing up is learning to do what you need to do as opposed to doing what you want to do.  It is not an easy concept to grasp and people learn to be selective with it.  It is easy to do what we need to do at work or school because we know we are expected to do so.  However, we may not always do the right thing when it comes to other people because we feel as if we are not expected to do so.  The truth of the matter is that in order to have growth as a person, you have to learn to do what has to be done and discern what exactly that entails.  Sometimes doing the right thing takes much courage and patience.  And most of the time we find an abundant amount of excuses as to why we cannot do the right thing. 

Let me tell you the story of a young stubborn young lady who always held a grudge.  When someone hurt her feelings, insulted her, or put her down, she would replay the scenario over and over in her head.  It became such a big problem that it made her stress level go through the ruff.  She wanted to let go of those not so great memories and focus her attention on the people who brought good things to her life.  One day she felt God tugging at her heart and He said to her: “you need to forgive and really forget.”  She thought “I really have to forget?!”   

Not forgetting those negative events in your past is a defense mechanism and we all do it in order to protect ourselves from what we think could possibly happen again.  Throughout my personal growth I have learned from experience that doing the right thing requires me to have amnesia about the events that have hurt me in the past.  I have to do what?!  I have to learn to really forget negative things and move forward.  Ultimately it is not up to me to fix other people’s mistakes; I can only do that for my own shortcomings. 

 

There are a few things that I personally do to help me move past hard times in my life and to help me with what I NEED to do.  First, I look at a clock and remind myself of how precious and short my time is here with my loved ones.  Second, I write out exactly what is bothering me, this helps me understand why exactly I feel the way I do.  Also, I remember that “forgiveness is a gift to the other person” and “forgetting is a gift to myself.”  At the end of the day we are all called to do different things that may scare us, but that might just be the opportunity to help you grow in your personal life and that will spill over into all other areas of your life.  By the way, the young stubborn lady above is me and she is a work in progress day in and day out.